Breathe
by mynameiscotter
Summary: A fic with Breathe by Pink Floyd used as a plot. Mello has changed, Matt pays. One shot. Slash. There is a sex scene but it's not explicit. Sorry haha.


**AN: I don't know what else to write about but a MattXxMello. Gah. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. I wish I owned Anne Rice but she's not croaking anytime soon. Bitch is immortal I think.**

* * *

In the distance one sees a lithe figure stumbling through the wheat fields, gloved hands outstretched trying to find a way out.

Not a way out of the field though.

_Breathe, breathe in the air, don't be afraid to care…_

Matt could feel the chemical flashing through his eyes, making the wheat field jump out like so many pale lights light that felt, light that tasted like gold.

Why couldn't the world just be like this all the time? Why couldn't Kira just take candy paper and have a nice go in the field like Matt is doing? The world was already beautiful

Even with all the murderers and rapists, why don't people look at the bright side of things?

**BANG BANG**

Bricks, cement all being placed on his forehead forcing him down to the ground. Comply.

Where was Mello?

Where was his lover? He needed to see this, he needed to see all of this wonderful grass, the fading midnight sky, the birds still sleeping in their nests.

_Leave, don't leave me, look around, choose your own ground…_

Matt fell into the wheat, the fronds tickling his ruddy cheeks, his goggles had been lost somewhere near his apartment, his fur vest was probably laying somewhere by the street, it had gotten to hot for those things. Matt couldn't even remember what had happened before he got here, all ambitions as to where his missing things were are quite beyond him; the LSD had taken care of that. Now all he could care about were the lights emitting from under his pale shaking fingers, the deep grinding in his groin, like a light wave crashing against his stomach, not lust, not sickness, a wave. A high and crashing blue wave, like the ones he used to take pictures of near England, near the jagged rocks he used to climb as a child.

Does Mello remember?

_Long you live and high you fly smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry…_

**Three hours before,**

Mello was home, and he was terribly mad. His scared fist collided with the wall, denting the cheap Japanese printed flowers.

"_What's wrong?" Matt asked, it had been a stupid question, he should've known. _

"_Fucking Near of course! That fucking piece of shit!" Mello glared forward, not making a second of eye contact with Matt._

"_What did he do?" Wrong question again. Mello picked up a paperweight and chucked it just past Matt's head, making Matt fall to the ground in shock. _

"_Doesn't think I have the ability to fucking beat him does he? Doesn't fucking even see me as a threat! I'll fucking kill him once I win!"_

_Mello suddenly looked down at Matt with eyes that the redhead was very familiar with, though he wished he wasn't. The look that Mello gave him wasn't familiar as Mello; he was someone that Matt had grown to know as someone totally different from the Mello he knew a year ago, before Kira had taken such a toll on everyone. Or was it before Mello's unhealthy want to surpass Near in the case, the burning need it seemed to win, win, win._

"_Listen to me, Mello. He doesn't know, don't let him get to you, okay?" Matt began backing up on the floor towards the hallway. "Just relax-"_

_Mello stepped forward, his burns contorting into a strangled snarl; his two blue eyes that Matt used to think resembled the sky now resembled-no-possessed the texture of fire._

_**All you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be…**_

Matt's body shook with sobs, his mind was confused, it felt agony beyond what he could understand at such an early age, yet his mind was also filled with lights and color and wonderful feelings. The drug was loving him indeed.

Matt touched his fingertips to his forehead, feeling the perspiration dripping down his cheekbone then hitting his neck, coating it. The trip was making his body fly, he felt like he was being thrown through a wind tunnel and there was no way to control it. He was on his way…on his way…

_**Run, rabbit run. Dig that hole, forget the sun...**_

_Matt's body was giving out on him, his legs were buckling as Mello thrust hard inside his young body, not caring that he was ripping him, not caring that this would be the tenth time such a thing had happened in the past year, not even intoxicated. Mello didn't need to be intoxicated to commit such an act of hate and carelessness anymore, besides it was only Matt, Matt would always forgive him. Mello was right, Matt would always be beside him, or sheathed in him it seemed. _

_"Please stop, please stop…" Matt whispered, even though this was a cry for help he dared not let Mello hear it. "I love you, please stop…" _

_Mello heard that one though._

_"Love me?" Mello slammed Matt against the kitchen wall where he had been previously fucking him. His eyes burned. "Love me do you? Who the fuck do you think you are, Matt? So you want to dominate, is that it?" Mello grabbed Matt's strong wrists from playing video games and squeezed them so hard Matt even yelped-yet dared not scream. Lovers don't scream at their lover. _

_"N-no…" Matt cried into his goggles, soon the tears would fill them up. "No, Mello-that's not what…ah!" Matt groaned as Mello squeezed his wrists again. _

_"What then? Your just fucking like him, you don't think I can do this either do you? That's why you think I need your stupid computer hacking skills? No, Matt your no use to me you piece of fucking shit!" Mello pushed Matt to the floor and walked out of the apartment. _

_Mello didn't look back at the sobbing mess on the floor though, not even a glance in the direction. No regrets. _

**_And when at last the work is done don't sit down its time to dig another one._**

That's when Matt had decided to take the LSD, he wanted so badly to feel happiness, he needed something that wouldn't make him hurt, and LSD was known for making anyone happy.

What he forgot to take into account was the drugs ability to make the person have a bad trip.

The sky was falling. The earth was eating him; the wheat suddenly turned hostile and was wrapping its hard tentacles around Matt's sweating body.

Matt hit at the tentacles and stood up, running from the wheat that was sure to devour him, shielding his head from the falling sky, tripping over the cracking ground, then he fell onto the concrete street.

Something was coming to his violent mind, it was Mello. Mello when they were in England, the first few years of they're life together. Mello was unscarred and was just another rough and tough teenager, Matt was just another Tetris player at the arcade, they were still at Whammy's.

Near the beach, the spot they would go to when the orphanage had gotten boring and tiresome, where they spent they're time talking and thinking about what they were going to do with they're lives after school. The waves were crashing hard, Matt was cold and sitting close to Mello, Mello still wore regular clothes.

The Trip sent him into a violent memory of the two of them touching on the beach. This was so early that Matt had thought his mind had gotten rid of such a happy memory. Matt was still a kid, only sixteen, but he remembered the way Mello let him touch him, let him kiss him with a cocky coyness that only Mello could do in a lustful way.

**_For long you live and high you fly but only if you ride the tide…_**

Mello's hands, Mello's soft hands.

Matt stood up from the street and began to stumble towards the beach, he saw it, it was the beach in England, it was the salty sand he was stepping on, it was home, and surely Mello would be on the shore, waiting for him like he used to.

Smell of salt…

Matt's feet grazed the intersection, his eyes shut tight, he couldn't open them in fear of losing the vision. A car swerved out of his way, the intersection light turned green.

Mello was sitting by the shore; chocolate was glazed over his lips…

"Matt-"

Matt had stumbled into a city fountain, Mello had yelled his name from his car that was stalled at the light, when the light turned green a driver had shocked Matt into falling into the dirty fountain, his sweaty shaky body emerged in the light green water.

"Matt!" Mello ran over to him, his anger leaving him at the sight of his friend's limp body shivering in the water, he pulled him up out of the fountain and shook him.

"Matt, do you hear me? Wake up you idiot!"

Matt's eyes opened slowly, his body still.

"Where are the waves…?"

* * *

**_And balanced on the biggest wave you race towards an early grave._**

**AN: Eh?**


End file.
